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Hunter shoots the first endangered wolf seen in Kentucky in 150 years

Supposedly the endangered wolf James Troyer shot.
KentuckyHunting.net
Supposedly the endangered wolf James Troyer shot.

When you see something rare -- Lady Gaga; the blue-footed booby -- it’s customary not to shoot it. Unless you’re the dickish hunter who shot the first endangered gray wolf to appear in Kentucky in 150 years:

The first documented free-ranging wolf in Kentucky’s modern history was shot and killed by an unsuspecting hunter, state wildlife officials have announced.

The hunter, 31-year-old James Troyer, killed the wolf back in March, but the Department of Agriculture only recently confirmed it was indeed a federally endangered gray wolf, not a German Shepherd like officials originally thought.

“I was like -- wow -- that thing was big!” [Troyer] recalled. “It looked like a wolf, but who is going to believe I shot a wolf?”

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This guy woke up snuggling with a fox instead of his girlfriend

Your new midnight snuggle buddy.
Luke Fritz
Your new midnight snuggle buddy.

I’m not saying Leon Smith’s girlfriend ISN’T a foxy lady. But she was long gone by the time the British chap woke up to realize he was cuddling with an actual fox. The Mirror reports:

Leon Smith was dozing in bed when he thought his girlfriend Sophie Merrell had lovingly nuzzled the back of his neck.

But she had already gone to work, and when Leon reached out for a cuddle he felt fur -- and found himself in bed with a fox who had sneaked in through the cat flap.

Leon, 30, from Hampton Hill in London, told The Sun: "I just couldn't believe it. It was so calm, just staring at me."

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Guinea pigs disturb German town with loud sex

Oh, did we wake you?
Mad M4tty
Oh, did we wake you?

Guinea pigs, man. You experiment on ’em and they retaliate by disturbing your slumber with the loudest, smelliest orgy possible. Reports International Business Times:

Residents of the German town of Munster have filed a complaint about the loud sexual noises coming from the university -- and pinned the blame on a gang of horny guinea pigs.

According to the complaint, filed in Munster's administrative court, the guinea pigs' group sex in the university's research facility is too loud to bear.

The university has a little more than a dozen male and female guinea pigs inside a huge cage outdoors. The sign outside the cage reads: “These animals live in non-committal, mixed-gender groups and mate with every possible partner.”

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Watch a bull terrier nurse cute baby goats using special milk pants

Are you my mother?
Are you my mother?

Animals wearing pants just won’t die. First an abused donkey got pants so his fur could grow back. Then we found a photo of a cow wearing pants to keep flies away.

Now, in this video unearthed by Laughing Squid, Gladys the long-suffering bull terrier wears “raw milk pants,” holding completely still while hyper young goats jump around and gulp excitedly:

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Fashion tips from nature, in adorable comic form

Rosemary Mosco is pretty rad. The field naturalist and cartoonist previously created “If climate change were a dude (we’d kick him out of the house),” a comic that manages to be simultaneously incisive and adorable. She’s back with “Fashion tips from nature”:

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Your daily aww: Abused donkey wears pants to heal

And a nice bootcut fit, too.
SQUEE. (Nice cuffs, too.)

Are you ready to cry and hate the world for a second, but then celebrate the triumph of the human donkey spirit and every mammal’s right to wear pants? WELL, GOOD.

Haim the donkey was tied up with barbed wire by his former owners (whom I hope rot in hell or at least have a really, really hard time figuring out their taxes next year). As if that weren’t bad enough, the owners’ kids abused the donkey. By the time Haim arrived at Israeli animal sanctuary Ramat Gan Safari, the fur on his legs was almost totally gone. Flies went to town biting the skin there, so Haim would scratch his legs, but that only caused sores that attracted MORE flies. (HEART. BREAKING.)

Hang in there, because here’s the happy part, where we put some pants on that ass:

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Hold on to your balls! This fish will eat them

Come skinnydipping with meeeee!
Kit-Kath Halkett
Come skinny dipping with meeeee!

The pacu is a relative of the piranha that usually hangs out in South American waters. Except some bored exotic fish collector dumped one in the waters between Denmark and Sweden, where a fisher discovered it. (This happened last summer in Illinois too.) Nobody would care, except this fish IS KNOWN FOR EATING BALLS. The pacu typically eats seeds and nuts with hard shells; they’re literally nutcrackers. Unfortunately that includes the “testicle” type of nut as well.

As fish expert Henrik Carl told Sweden’s The Local:

[T]here have been incidents in other countries, such as Papua New Guinea, where some men have had their testicles bitten off ... [The fish] bite because they're hungry, and testicles sit nicely in their mouth.

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Awesome farmer builds his pigs a mudslide, just for kicks

pig-mudslide
Erik Stegink

Have you ever been at a waterpark and thought, “Why don’t PIGS have their own version of this?!” Erik Stegink did. The impish Dutch farmer all but built a bubbling mud jacuzzi and passed out piglet waterwings for his four-legged walking-bacon friends. According to British site The Metro:

A farmer in Holland has installed a mud slide for his pigs after being inspired by the flumes at a water park.

Erik Stegink mounted a disused slide he had bought from a nearby pool on his farmland.

And in no time at all his pigs were enjoying their own amusement park, but instead of water they were diving into mud.

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Need a distraction? Here’s the baby penguin live cam

Bored at work? Play peeping Tom with these fuzzy baby penguins. We won’t tell:

Video streaming by Ustream

The two penguin chicks were born at The Aquarium of the Pacific in June to undoubtedly nervous first-time parents Floyd and Roxy. Isn't it a little strange that we don’t know the kids’ names? I mean, they live at the aquarium, so they’ve gotta get used to the celebrity lifestyle (see: a certain royal baby human). Floyd and Roxy sound pretty rock ‘n’ roll, so how about Debbie and The Fonz? (Just give me a cut of their first single.)

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Watch this ridiculous deadpan video about owls

AWW.
AWW.

"Despite its cuddly appearance, beneath those fluffy feathers, the owl is what we call a 'bird of prey,' because it eats prey, just as the owls call us 'apes of the hamburger.'" Welcome to science class -- only it’s less boring and more SNL-inspired than usual, because Ze Frank is in charge. (Did you cut class yesterday? FINE, here are the lesson notes on sloths, the dung beetle, and the naked mole rat.)

In his latest installment of dryly hilarious "True Facts" animal videos, Frank dishes out wisdom about why it’s polite to throw up at an owl dinner party and why baby owls (owlettes!) camouflage themselves as Muppets. Choice nuggets include “If silence were loudness, they would be the loudest flying bird” and “Try riding a bicycle at night and picking up a moving burrito with your feet, based on the sound that it makes. That is how an owl do.” He sounds like the Dr. Spaceman of owls (except slightly more trustworthy). You owe it to yourself to watch:

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