UPDATE: Discovery’s TLC has officially signed Alaska’s most famous former official. However, Discovery would really like everyone to stop calling it a reality show, and acknowledge it for what it really will be: a “documentary series about the remarkable Governor Palin and her home state of Alaska.” Will the network’s aspirations to keep it from becoming a “political program” be successful? Perhaps only with an airhead filter.

Sarah Palin attracts more drama than Jersey Shore, so it’s only natural for her to guide us to the natural reality-TV shores of Alaska. Rumors say Palin’s asking Discovery Communications to coffer up a glacially cool $1.2 million per episode, making it even pricier than her campaign wardrobe.

“Sarah Palin’s Alaska” is to be shot (perhaps from a helicoptor?) in the high-def style of the wildly successfully “Planet Earth” series, the previous global leader of spendy nature shows. Will “Alaska” be Discovery’s next Pebble Gold Mine?

The internet can only imagine how Palin’s wildlife narration will pan out:

Look! It’s a polar bear. I sued the federal government to keep that guy and his ilk from getting an endangered species listing. …

Oh! I see a wolf! Let’s get a nice aerial shot of this little guy. BANG.

Check it out! This is the village of Shishmaref. Let’s set up a time lapse sequence and watch it fall off into the sea because of global warming snake oil science.

However, her show will more likely end up like this earnest videographer’s imaginings, complete with “year-round frozen permafrost, frozen tundra” and lofty inspirational music:

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