Eat your heart out, Julian Assange. This is one document WikiLeaks doesn’t have: a so-called “word cloud” produced by sophisticated word-frequency-analysis software, only available on the internets.

High-ranking sources within an organization you’d recognize if you read its name provided the document below. Using the text of the combined floor speeches made by all Senate Republicans during the last session of the 111th Congress, the secret algorithm — which gave added statistical weight to utterances by Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Insufferable) — positively correlates word frequency with font size.

“By visually comparing words of differing sizes,” explained a source with intimate knowledge of the algorithm, “our ability to understand Republican priorities and political methodology has grown exponentially. In short,” he added, with a glint in his eye, “size does matter.”

We reprint the GOP Word Cloud as a public service, without imposing our own interpretation, thereby allowing you, the reader, to make an impartial assesment based solely on the data.

Happy Holidays.

GOP word cloud