Oil derrickA judge in Ecuador has delivered the world’s biggest environmental spanking to pollution giant Chevron, as a judgment for faulty drilling gunking up the country’s rain forests:

An Ecuadorian judge on Monday ordered Chevron Corp. to pay $8.6 billion to clean up oil pollution in the country’s rain forest in what is believed to be the largest-ever judgment in an environmental case.

And if the U.S. oil giant doesn’t publicly apologize in the next 15 days, the judge ordered the company to pay twice that amount.

Jesus, $8.6 billion is one thing, but an apology? What is this, the Spanish Inquisition?

Chevron is unbowed, though. First the company called the judgment “illegitimate and unenforceable” and “the product of fraud” — yes, the idea that oil drilling can be responsible for environmental damage is definitely a baseless fabrication! — and now it’s pretending it doesn’t even know what it means:

Lawyers for Chevron Corp on Thursday requested clarification of a recent court ruling in Ecuador that ordered the U.S. oil company to pay $8.6 billion in damages for contaminating the Amazon. …

“Chevron presented at 8 am today its request for Judge Zambrano to clarify and expound upon specific points of his February 14 ruling,” company spokesman James Craig told Reuters.

“When you say we should ‘apologize,’ you mean what exactly?”