Easily Add 13 Terawatts to the Longevity of Your Energy Supply! Prolong Your Planet’s Pleasure! Get The Long Lasting Energy She Craves, Cheap! Power One Million Homes Harder, Longer, and Faster!

Wait, don’t hit delete, this is good news. Microsoft’s Digital Crimes Unit (nerdiest Law and Order spinoff EVER) has brought down the world’s largest spam network, Rustock. Killing this one network may decrease worldwide spam output by 39 percent — and give us back 13 million terawatt hours of energy. Rustock’s matrix of churning computers had the capacity to send out 30 billion pieces of spam EVERY DAY. Now, that same amount of energy could be used for non-deplorable pursuits, like powering almost a million homes, or producing those penis pills we’ve heard so much about.

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