New Jersey natives, think fast: Who’s your most embarrassing resident, your governor or your reality TV stars? Personally I think the scales are tipping in favor of the Jersey Shore cast. Chris Christie basically hates the environment, but Snooki believes in global warming! She may be constructed mostly of tanner and hair, but she knows what’s up. Sort of.
You probably don’t want to watch this whole video, since it’s characteristically shrilly-pitched and almost aggressively dumb. If Snooki’s persona is made up, which it has to be, it’s very close to being brilliant-stupid in the manner of Beavis and Butt-head, but if it’s for real I’m going to have to become a stylite. So here’s the relevant part, which starts around 2:20:
Every time I go down the seaside, I’m sweating in places I’ve never sweated before. Obviously, the sun’s coming closer to Earth, and we’re all just sweating our balls off. So if we don’t take care of this problem and, you know, make an ozone layer somewhere, the aliens are going to attack Earth and kill us all.
Um, sure. Points for effort?
Listen, if the threat of alien invasion and ball sweat is necessary to get people active on climate change, then as far as I’m concerned, Snooki, you are fresh to death. But you might want to get your climate change theories read out in the style of Oscar Wilde. It would be a little more listenable.
Get Grist in your inbox