Do I look as stupid as I feel?

We were dusting off our “I” files today and came across this treasure under “inexplicable inventions.” What is this? Well. First of all, it’s called a Fliz, and it’s kind of like a bike, but you strap it around your shoulders like a harness and then power it with your feet. Basically, it’s a cross between a bike, a scooter, a lifejacket, and a Flintstones car. So your next question is probably something like: Why the hell would you want to do that? And the answer, or at least what the bike’s German (go figure!) designers say, is this:

[I]t provides a comfortable, ergonomic ride between running and biking. The frame integrates the rider and due to its construction it works like a suspension whereas the belt replaces the saddle and adjusts your position. These aspects reduce pressure in the crotch and distribute the body weight while running, which is a unique feature. On the bottom of the rear stays special treads are located to place and relax the feet.

That’s all well and good, but it looks really hard to manage. And what happens when I wipe out on that thing and I’m all harnessed in there? How are my feet going to stay “relaxed” when my head hits a curb? I don’t like the idea of being strapped into something that’s moving that fast. Well, OK, I’m willing to be strapped into a car — but if I die in a car I won’t die looking like this:

See: