I am the most beautiful dumpster garden in the whole kingdom of Dumbo! (Photo by Michael Bernstein.)

So, it should not come as a great shock to anyone that a person in Brooklyn wishes to combine the urban and the pastoral in a way that is Not Only Beautiful But Makes People Think (TM). Michael Bernstein (we linked him so maybe you can figure out what the fuck he does, because we have no idea) developed the idea for his rubbish-bin gardens when he found himself living in industrial Dumbo, and was surprised that it wasn’t very green. Then maybe someone tapped him on the shoulder and said, “Hey, you live in a city, dumbass,” and he was like, “Oh, maybe that’s why.”

Anyway , he got the idea of planting these sort of “miniforests” in dumpsters, and he’d like to see them all around the city, though he’s not really sure who is going to move them, because they’re really big.

And he’s not really sure if they’ll actually make anything prettier. He told the Atlantic, “It’s more of an allegorical thing, a comment on lack of green space.”  So it’s a green space that’s a comment on the lack of green space? We think we’ll sign up for having one on our block by not signing up.

If you’re still interested, you should know that each dumpster contains two rows of pine trees, but you might want to hold out for Bernstein’s planned “koi pond” and “Japanese rock garden” models. Or you could get your green fix by moving upstate, where you can set your water on fire.

See: