Ah, high-fructose corn syrup, our old friend. What a year it’s been, no? Hard to believe that little more than 12 months ago, your sugar-daddy Corn Refiners Association’s multi-million dollar “Sweet Surprise” marketing campaign was in full swing and studies seemed to suggest HFCS really was no worse for you than table sugar. But then, a Princeton study revealed you aren’t as innocent as we thought, and we discovered that all that sweet talk about how you were chemically identical to table sugar was false — you have far more harmful fructose. Whoops! As sales dropped and the media turned bitter, what else to do but try for a fresh start? Still, even if you do succeed in changing your name to “corn sugar,” to us you’ll always be our favorite liver-rotting, body-tricking, bee-bamboozling, industrial-food additive.
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