Are you the type who puts off holiday shopping until the last minute, makes a guilt-ridden and miserable foray to the mega-mall, and comes home with bags full of junk that nobody wants? Well, this year, turn over a new bough. We’ve got suggestions of eco-gewgaws for everyone on your list.
The Trendy Clotheshorse
- Eco jeans. Expanding the jean pool.
- Vegan footwear. Natalie Portman is a fan. ‘Nuff said.
- Clothing made from hemp, bamboo, or recycled materials. Cotton is tres 2005.
The Sports Fanatic
- Tickets to the 2006 World Cup or Winter Olympics. U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
- Bottles of organic beer or a brew-your-own kit. Beer and ‘ball go hand in hand.
- A bamboo bike, skateboard, or baseball bat. Der baseballschläger, da!
The Self-Righteous Enviro
- A donation to offset their carbon footprint. Don’t forget to account for methane emissions!
- A goat. No, seriously.
- Nothing. Consumption is evil.
The Anti-Enviro
- Fair-trade, shade-grown, organic coffee — or all three in one! With the label removed, of course.
- Biodegradable golf balls and tees. They’ll never know the difference.
- Gift card to an eco–friendly retailer. Force them to shop green. Mwa-ha-ha-ha!
The Pet-Obsessed
- Natural pet food. For Fluffy’s discerning palate.
- Toys and accessories. Aw, such a pwitty wittle pookie muffin …
- Natural pet cleaning supplies. For when pwitty wittle pookie muffin shits on the bed.
The College Student
- Cleaning supplies or a green maid service. Those dorm rooms, ew …
- CSA subscription. The caf just ain’t cuttin’ it, yo.
- Flexcar membership. So they’ll stop borrowing your car.
The Hipster
- Solar charger. That’s hot.
- Wicked sweet wheels. The ultimate accessory.
- Hemp-and-recycled-rubber handbags. How … handy!
The Angsty Teen
- Two tickets for a concert that gives back to the planet. No, you’re not invited — that’d be so embarrassing.
- Downloads from a climate-neutral music service. They can be in tune with the earth while tuning out the world.
- Eco-friendly hair color, eye makeup, and lipstick. All in black, of course.
The Pint-Sized Enviro
- Adopt an animal. Maybe then they’ll stop whining for a real pet.
- Eco art supplies. So they’ll scribble in a coloring book and not on your walls.
- Non-toxic toys. We hear toys are a hot new thing this holiday season.
The Significant Other
- Flowers, chocolates, and a girl’s best friend. Aw, you shouldn’t have. But good thing you did.
- Dinner for two. Wine ’em and dine ’em, we always say.
- Dessert. Yum, yum.
Everyone on Your List
- Donation to Grist in their name. You’ll be the most popular gift-giver ever!
