1. Blessed are the two-wheelers

    What would Jesus drive? Please. Jesus would bike, bro! To vouchsafe this essential spiritual truth, New York City cyclists are gathering in the Cathedral of St. John the Divine on Earth Day to have their rides blessed and sprinkled with holy water, while they ring their bells and angels get their wings helmets.

    Photo: bicycleshows.us

  2. Yub nub!

    When the energy shortages hit, the world economy collapses, sea levels rise over coastal cities, and our fascist overlords send enormous war machines to round us up, we’re going to need to retreat to the forests and fashion crude stone and wood weapons to repel them. And live in these.

    Photo: Tom Chudleigh.

  3. Like chocolate and … mayonnaise

    Xtina and what’s-his-name. Apple and Windows. Socks and sandals. In the annals of improbable pairings, this one may take the cake: a green mega-suburb. Developed by a mining company (!), the sustainably developed, walkable series of communities in Utah may soon house some half-million residents. Welcome to Cognitive Dissonance Lane.

    Photo: iStockphoto.

  4. Old & in the way

    Look, we get that Angelenos love their cars, but you know your city has drifted a ways from the eco-ideal when an 82-year-old woman leaving her nursing home gets a $114 ticket for crossing the street too slowly. A fellow senior does it the L.A. way — calling a cab to cross the five lanes of traffic.

    Image: iStockphoto.

  5. Putting the “fun” in Superfund

    Berkeley Pit, a former copper mine in Butte (heh heh), Mont., and one of the nation’s largest bodies of toxic water, has begun charging admission — and brought in some $18,600 in tourist tender last season. Don’t forget your Hazmat action figure at the gift shop!