This past Friday, I was once again invited to be on FOX’s Hannity & Colmes. Last time, you’ll recall, I was to discuss the grave and momentous subject of Al Gore’s hypocrisy.

This time, the subject was even graver and momentouser: John Travolta‘s hypocrisy.

(Last time I got bumped for Daryl Hannah. This time I was both too busy and too sick. Someday!)

Travolta, you see, recently opined on the subject of global warming, just after driving a Harley down the red carpet at the premiere of his new movie Wild Hogs. Sayeth Travolta:

“It [global warming] is a very valid issue,” Travolta declared. “I’m wondering if we need to think about other planets and dome cities.

“Everyone can do their bit. But I don’t know if it’s not too late already. We have to think about alternative methods of fuel.

Other planets and dome cities? Alternative methods of fuel? The man has clearly done his research.

But wait!

Turns out Travolta is an avid pilot and owns five — yes, five — private jets, some of which are parked at his palatial Florida estate. That means he probably has one of the highest individual carbon footprints in the world (this world anyway …).

Only one conclusion can be drawn: John Travolta is a big fat hypocrite and global warming is a bunch of hype! The web’s top journalists agreed: Travolta’s comments show "why liberals get it wrong (on nearly everything!)."

Here at Grist, we plan to pursue this story tirelessly, devoting all our resources to getting to the bottom of just how big and fat a hypocrite John Travolta is. We will not rest until liberals and environmentalists stop allowing Travolta to serve as their spokesman. Decency and journalistic integrity demand it.