Q. Dear Umbra,

Recently I’ve been growing more concerned about the rainforest deforestation associated with the palm oil in trans-fat-free margarines. Are there any trans-fat-free and rainforest-deforestation-free butter substitute options for when I’m accommodating my vegan friends (and that I could suggest they use instead)?

Paul
Bar Harbor, Maine

Photo by Angelica.

A. Dearest Paul,

Your question is quite pertinent this week, when our besotted peers are loading up on 58 million pounds of chocolate for their sweeties, much of it packed with palm oil. (Look, here is one guide [PDF] to candy with and without this controversial substance.)

You are accommodating indeed, to be giving so much thought to the edible-spread needs of your vegan friends. Your query leads us down a greasy hillside of deforestation, pollution, human-rights infringements, hydrogenation, and marketing shtick. As a side bonus, however, we get a shamelessly cute video of baby orangutans, and a few promising recipes for homemade vegan “butter.” Yum.

Q. Dear Umbra,

So cacti can remove selenium from soil. I’ve read in the past about different plants being able to “sop up” various nasty chemicals. My question is this: Then what? Are they to be harvested and dumped somewhere, so contaminating another piece of land, or are they allowed to live out their lives, die, keel over, and re-contaminate the same piece of land?

David B.
Greenfield, N.H.

Photo by Tommy Wong.

A. Dearest David,

Is there anything our plant friends can’t do? They look nice, they often smell nice, and they agreeably exchange their oxygen for our carbon dioxide. They sequester carbon, they feed us, they shade our homes, they shelter critters, they make indoor air cleaner, they improve worker productivity, they can be ground up to make medicines and teas. I could go on and on. Or maybe I couldn’t, because I’m getting all choked up just thinking about the sacrifices plants make for us, the dunderheaded humans who lurch among them.

Q. Dear Umbra,

I have two bottled beers in my refrigerator left over from a party at least three years ago. Incredible, I know, to anyone who loves beer, but I’m not a beer drinker. If this were cake, it would be a different story. Anyway, the question: Is it better to pour the beer down the sink and recycle the bottles, but then I’m adding an alcoholic pollutant to the waterways, or to put the full bottles in the trash. It should be noted that in my community, all trash is burned (in as green a way as possible -- my local government is very environmentally conscious).

T.K.
Arlington, Va.

Photo by Nathanael Boehm.

A. Dearest T.K.,

I posed your question to several beer and water-quality experts, all of whom offered this measured, scientific response: “Your letter-writer wants to do what?!”

Let’s just say their concern was not for the aquatic organisms.

Once they got past the horror of imagining any beer meeting such a fate, the expert panelists were relatively unperturbed. “While it is indeed a tragedy that the beer is undrinkable, there is no risk in pouring it down the drain,” said Rick Keil, a professor of chemical oceanography at the University of Washington.

Tracy Collier, an environmental toxicologist who recently retired from NOAA, agreed: “There are a lot of things you should not pour down your drain, things that can harm our waters and the living resources that depend on them, but beer is not one of them.”

Q. Dear Umbra,

A CFL that I’ve had for less than a year just burnt out. It’s happened to me numerous times before. We’re told that one of the money-saving benefits of CFLs is that they last much longer than incandescent bulbs, but that’s not been my experience. Am I buying the wrong brands? Has demand for cheap CFLs caused manufacturers to cut corners? What’s the deal?

Caroline E.
Richmond, Va.

Send your question to Umbra! Q. Dear Umbra, Generally speaking, sustainability advocates seem to be a serious crowd. Have you got any jokes or one-liners that can bring some levity to our work? Especially ones related to recycling? Robert D. Jefferson City, Mo.

Send your question to Umbra! Q. Dear Umbra, It seems that commingled recycling could not be as efficient as separated recycling. Although I am aware that it increases the percentage of garbage that is recycled, I wonder if there is any reason to separate my waste and find an old-fashioned recycling center that accepts it. Michael K. Adelphi, Md. A. Dearest Michael, This here is one of those Hot Topics that is causing entire industries to foam at the mouth, while the rest of us merrily go about our business -- sort of like the wood vs. plastic pallet punchfest. …

Send your question to Umbra! Q. Dear Umbra, There seem to be more and more automatic air fresheners in public and office restrooms. The data say that they cause respiratory, digestive, and eye irritation. Asthmatics seem to feel the worst, so how do we cope with not being able to use the restroom without having to use inhalers afterwards? Do home air fresheners do the same thing? Are there any moves to have warnings? Sherry H. Portsmouth, N.H. Say it: "Don't spray it."A. Dearest Sherry, Let's get the New Year off to a fresh start by tackling this sickening situation. …

Let Umbra take a little weight off your shoulders.Dearest readers, Some people engage in spring cleaning, but I prefer to do a little winter cleaning. I take down the Gristmahanukwanzakah shrub, put away the nog, and tidy up ye olde inbox to prepare for the almost certain Onslaught of Angst in 2012. During this year's ritual, I noticed a few unanswered questions bearing a hint of stress, or of sadness, or of too many minutes spent on "either-or" conundra. So without further ado, here are some final answers to your burning questions of 2011. I hope they'll unburden you just …

Send your question to Umbra! Q. Dear Umbra, Can I recycle my silicone hotwater bottle? Also is it really OK cooking in silicone baking dishes? What IS it? Marcea C. Totnes, England Photo: Scorpions and CentaursA. Dearest Marcea, Something about your final question has caught my fancy -- the wistful perplexity, the beseeching helplessness, the fact that I'm imagining you asking it with a lovely English accent. Therefore I've decided this simple query should be the new Consumer Mantra, something we ask ourselves every time we are staring at a store shelf or a product label or a tempting thingamabob: …

Send your question to Umbra! Q. Dear Umbra, I strive to reduce/reuse/recycle, but as someone who is sensitive to chemicals, purchasing used clothing presents problems. Sometimes soaking the clothes in borax or vinegar, and washing as much as a dozen times (in less toxic, unscented detergent) fails to remove the ferocious stink of the previous owner's detergent and fabric softener. Any suggestions? Rebecca Seattle, Wash. Don't let chemical odors cramp your style.A. Dearest Rebecca, Forgive me if I begin by gently stating the obvious: While your commitment to reducing your impact by buying used garments is admirable, especially as we …