Thanks to environmental woes, we'll soon have to update everything -- even the subjects of our favorite cliches. Here are 10 of the most endangered.
1. IT’S LIKE COMPARING APPLES AND ORANGES.
The difference between apples and oranges used to be so stark that to compare them would have been, well, fruitless. But thanks to the triumphs of agriculture and biotechnology, soon we’ll have apples that are oranges. No word yet on whether they’ll keep the doctor away. Update: It’s like comparing apples to genetically modified apples.
2. THE EARLY BIRD GETS THE WORM.
Reaping rewards is sometimes just a matter of being one step ahead of your competition. Birds, with their punctual proclivities, have long known this. But warming climates are throwing off their migration schedules, leaving them out of sync with their food sources. Being early no longer guarantees a damn thing. Update: The early bird gets just as many worms as the late, confused slob.
3. DOES A BEAR CRAP IN THE WOODS?
When someone asks a rather obvious question, you might slap your forehead or roll your eyes. Or you might counter with a snarky question of your own about the defecation habits of bears. Traditionally, this ursine activity has taken place among trees and streams and squirrels. But thanks to urban sprawl and irresponsible growth, it is no longer a given that a bear’s bowels will be moved in such picturesque environments. Update: Does a bear sometimes crap in the Best Buy parking lot?