Grist: Francis Stokes

There are enough to shoot again

Francis Stokes — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 04:06:39 +0000

In the 1800s, the Texas Bighorn sheep numbered about 1,500 in the remote, craggy Texas wilderness. But by the 1940s, their numbers had dwindled to around 35 and they were looking to join the ranks of the dodo bird. However, conservation efforts and personal motivation tapes pushed the Bighorn sheep to clamber and hoof their way gradually back up the rocky, precarious cliff to population rebound, and at the windswept peak the Texas Bighorn found the ultimate reward:

Their growing numbers are reflected by the 12 hunting permits for bighorns issued statewide this year, the most since efforts to rebuild the population began in 1954.

Woo-hoo! We’re expendable again! Actually, it’s those hunting permits, sold at a premium, that have funded the successful return of the Bighorn. Turns out the hunters are the most concerned with preserving the species. Ah, that good ol’ Texas tough love.

A new blog by pigeons gives a bird’s eye view of air quality

Francis Stokes — Wed, 30 Aug 2006 03:03:42 +0000

A recent article announced a new milestone in the blogging world — the very first blog by pigeons. A team at University of California Irvine is gathering data on smog particles in the atmosphere using pigeons outfitted with “backpacks and cell phones.” (Because they don’t already gab enough on apartment windowsills.) The project was inspired by WWII homing pigeons equipped with spy cameras.

The team devised a feather-weight minipack with an antenna, a cell phone SIM card, global positioning system equipment, and a pollution sensor. The GPS tracks the pigeon’s exact location, the sensors pick up airborne pollutants, and the information is text-messaged to the website.

The naturally meandering route of a pigeon gives the experiment a random quality that creator Beatriz da Costa intended. The project does have its detractors, though.

“It’s an experiment with animals that is unnecessary,” [PETA spokesperson Holly] Mattern said. “It just shows bad decision-making on a lot of people’s parts.”

Here’s a short list of some of PETA’s concerns:

Constantly being on the Internet could limit real social interaction between pigeons.
Sites like MySpace could make them easy victims for predators such as cats and coyotes.
Pigeons already have an unhealthy grayish pallor without spending all their time staring at a computer screen and eating Cheezits.

A little bit country, a little bit pathetic and lazy

Francis Stokes — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 04:35:18 +0000

To animal lovers, the idea of proudly displaying the remains of something you hunted down and killed is a sad aspect of male bravado. Well, consider if the animal was a domestic creature raised in a cage for tourists to photograph. Troy Lee Gentry, of the country music duo Montgomery Gentry, has been charged with paying $4,650 to the Minnesota Wildlife Connection to kill a tame bear named “Cubby.”

After using a bow and arrow to kill the animal inside its pen, Gentry and the owner of the preserve tagged the bear and registered it with the state as if it had been killed in the wild. A videotape was edited to make it appear that Gentry had hunted down the bear.

I’m trying to picture the raw footage for this video, with the cameraman telling Troy, “Okay, now make a face like the bear is roaring at you. Yeah, that’s good. I got an awesome Nat Geo scene we can drop in there …” Meanwhile, back in the editing bay, someone is faithfully cutting around the owner of the Wildlife Connection saying, “Here, Cubby! Wanna nice cookie? Sit, boy … Good boy …”

I can only hope that Troy invited over Toby Keith and Kenny Chesney and all his country music pals to brag endlessly about the primal ritual of the hunt and the grueling pains he ignored as he tracked the beast through the wild brambles of Minnesota, shirtless and bleeding, with his bow and arrow strapped across his back and the taste of bloodlust in his mouth.

Troy Lee Gentry is famous for the song “Good Clean Fun,” which beckons a night of passion with the lyrics, “So please don’t think I’m moving in for the kill … If you don’t want to love me somebody else will.” Which is probably true. After all, for Troy “moving in for the kill” is a business transaction.

Eddie Vedder to shame you with his environmental giving

Francis Stokes — Fri, 14 Jul 2006 09:49:47 +0000

Pop-superstars-turned-moody-hasbeens-turned-pop-superstars Pearl Jam recently pledged to donate $100,000 to groups that focus on climate change and other environmental concerns, as a way to offset their carbon emissions. Many of the recipients are, not surprisingly, in the Seattle rockers’ home state. (Although there’s at least one local nonprofit they seem to have missed … what were they thinking?)

While the “carbon neutral” concept is trendy right now, Pearl Jam has followed this model for donations before.

Pearl Jam has aided other green causes in the past, including donating money to preserve a Madagascar rain forest to atone for environmental damage wrought by its last tour.

Vedder also recently gave an extremely large tip to his hair stylist to atone for the Mohawk hairdo he sported for their last album.

Hell comes to frogtown

Francis Stokes — Sat, 08 Jul 2006 06:10:34 +0000

A new report from leading conservation experts suggests that a third of all amphibian species are at risk, and calls for an urgent rescue to save frogs, newts, and other amphibians from extinction. Disease, habitat loss, and climate change are the major culprits — amphibians are “delicate sentinels of environmental change.” But frogs must carry some of the blame themselves. Frog celebrities have been poor role models: Mr. Toad’s reckless driving and compulsive behavior have led some to call his life a “wild ride,” and Kermit the Frog’s heroin thin physique has raised suspicions of anorexia and drug use. While the Amphibian Survival Alliance is doing its best to aid the crisis, I offer a few survival tips for our frog friends:

Stop signing up for high school biology classes. Those don’t work out well for frogs.
Stop giving piggy back rides to scorpions, even if they promise not to sting you. “Then I’ll drown too, it’s not logical…” Load of crap.
Stop being delicate sentinels of environmental change. That’s really your biggest mistake.

Coconuts: Good for more than just tropical drinks and bras

Francis Stokes — Wed, 10 May 2006 07:01:29 +0000

As fuel prices soar, the smaller and more remote the land mass, the bigger the crisis. But Pacific Islanders may have found their solution: coconuts. An article in Reuters today details efforts to make biofuel out of coconut oil.

It began when the Professor developed an idea for a bamboo boat motor, but the Skipper said they lost all their fuel when the Minnow ran aground. Gilligan suggested, “I have an idea. If we have phones made of coconuts, and a space shuttle made out of coconuts, and small tactical explosives made from coconuts, then why can’t we have biofuel made from coconuts?” Then the Skipper hit Gilligan with his hat, which looks like a hostile act but is really a sign of affection.

The new discovery may also be an industry incentive, bringing much-needed revenue to rural-island populations, whose coconut supplies until now have been used to meet the massive demand for carved souvenir monkey heads with wire-rimmed glasses.

South Africa kills sport of shooting rhinos at close range (in closed pens)

Francis Stokes — Sat, 06 May 2006 10:35:02 +0000

“Canned” always signals a welcome improvement — whether it’s canned meat, canned asparagus, or canned hunts. A canned hunt is one in which the prey is an animal raised in captivity and confined in a small area so the “hunter” can shoot it at close range. Usually with some trees around, for that authentic woodsy feel. Not quite as easy as firing a few rounds into a venison steak, but close. Canned hunts are popular in the states, for those hunters-on-the-go who just can’t wander around all day looking for prey, and because they’re fairly idiot-proof (unless you go shooting your partner in the face).

But sadly, South Africa just passed a law that takes the best part out of going on a big-game safari in the deepest jungles of Africa: the convenience. Canned hunts for wealthy tourists, or “tinned hunts” for wealthy British tourists, are a multi-million dollar industry in South Africa.

Prices paid ranged from $25 for pigeons and quail to $25,000 for a white rhinoceros. Breeders have used crossbreeding and genetic manipulation to make the potential trophies more appealing — by producing large numbers of albino lions, for instance.

When the new law was passed, breeders were working on their most appealing hunting trophy yet: animals with their heads pre-mounted on wooden plaques.

America outsourcing its pollution to China

Francis Stokes — Tue, 25 Apr 2006 07:10:17 +0000

Yet another successful American export product is facing stiff competition from China: pollution. China, where factories are springing up like dandelions and whose labor force is cheap and plentiful, is able to churn out pollution at an unprecedented rate. And the prices! Now you can afford to get emphysema and lung cancer. Once, America was the world leader in the bad-air industry — so much so, a recent Nova episode credited export of American pollution as a contributor to the disastrous famine in Ethiopia in the 1980s. Ah, those heady days of world power …

Today, sadly, China has surged ahead in the game and left America in a paltry second place. A recent AP article points to China as the producer of Seattle’s hazy new skyline. But a message to all you Grist office workers, from here in Los Angeles: Before you go bragging about your beautiful new orangey red sunsets, remember that down here our smog is homegrown, and yours has that little sticker that says “Made In China.”

A bipolar solar disorder

Francis Stokes — Thu, 20 Apr 2006 08:03:59 +0000

Last night, Nova tackled an interesting, less-discussed danger from pollution: global dimming. It hasn’t gotten that much attention (outside of Grist, of course) but Nova presented a very compelling and rather harrowing picture.

Basically, while the earth has been getting warmer due to greenhouse gases, it has simultaneously been getting cooler due to a layer SP50 sunblock made up of smog particles in the air. As a result, the globe is like a guy who drinks fifty cups of coffee a day and then pops five Valium and proudly declares he’s “in the zone.”

It’s easy to imagine how the distraction faction would use this to cast doubt on the whole idea of global warming. “What’s with these egghead scientists? Is the globe getting warmer or colder? Make up your mind!” Well, we know it’s getting warmer. So here’s the scary part: the dimming of the sun has been masking the full effect of global warming, which may be much further along than we previously realized. We’ve been reducing the particulate smog that causes dimming for the past few years, and we’re starting to see an accelerated shift. Once this guy gets off the Valium, he’s going to be on one hellish caffeine kick.

City park on abandoned rail line gives Manhattan much-needed real estate boom

Francis Stokes — Wed, 12 Apr 2006 04:19:51 +0000

Locals living in New York City’s West Side lobbied to save an abandoned rail line that once ran two stories above the street; now its 22 blocks of rust and decay are being turned into the nation’s first elevated city park. The Friends of the High Line formed seven years ago when two Manhattanites, Joshua David and Robert Hammond, developed a sentimental attachment to the old railway. The promise of the elevated park has given the neighborhood a new real-estate nickname — the High Line — and raised the value of an eight-by-ten studio apartment from “absurdly overpriced” to “laughably criminal.”

Plans on the website suggest the lush new park will have glass staircases accessing the street and wild native plants to “demonstrate the power of nature to take hold in manmade settings.” In keeping with this principle, a reflective pond will be populated with giant man-eating alligators that emerged from the city sewers after being flushed down the toilet by pet owners.