Today President Obama is "pardoning" two turkeys with conventional taste in music -- Caramel, who reportedly likes Lady Gaga, and Popcorn, who's more into Beyonce. Sure. Anyway, they're getting a presidential pardon for the crime of being edible, and will be sent to an idyllic turkey farm where they can run free until they drop dead in a year because modern turkeys are just not built to live.
The lack of public toilets is a problem when you're on your way home on the subway and you drank one beer too many, but they're a much bigger problem if you have no home and no access to facilities. Increased public access to bathrooms doesn't just mean everyone has a pot to piss in; it can also increase health, dignity, confidence, and employability for the homeless. And San Francisco nonprofit Lava Mae is getting the word out about that -- in the form of a parade of beautiful artistic toilets.
When Michael Pollan said we should make our food ourselves, we kind of thought he meant home cooking, not culturing cheese from your belly button bacteria. But scientist Christina Agapakis and scent expert Sissel Tolaas have done just that, producing dairy products made using Pollan's navel microbes. And it looks almost edible. Almost.
Artist Sarah Hatton collects dead bees, but we promise it's not some sick weird thing. She collects them into complicated mandalas, swirling mathematical patterns like Fibonacci spirals that she intends to be "symbolically linked to monoculture crops" and representative of " the bees’ loss of ability to navigate due to the toxins locked within the very source of their sustenance."
Oh, you probably thought zebras were just docile, pleasant horsies that enjoyed dressing like a smarmy playboy's sheet set, huh? Well joke's on you, because apparently they've been biding their time waiting to avenge themselves on humans for threatening their species and putting them in captivity. The first volley: A zebra at the National Zoo bit a zoo staffer this morning, who had to be rushed to the hospital.
Somehow we missed this 2009 video, in which banker Joel Armstrong stands under a ledge catching ducklings as they jump off, helping them safely to the ground, and finally rescuing the stragglers with a ladder and helping them through the city streets to the river.
Of all the city-navigation sites and apps available -- the ones that tell you where to eat, the ones that plot your bike route, the ones that tell you when the next train is coming -- none is more likely to improve your New York experience than ToiletFinder.com, the site that tells you where to find a public toilet and how gross it's likely to be. (You think I'm exaggerating? Sit around and age for a while, then get back to me.) And now, you can apply to make ToiletFinder even better -- and earn some cash -- by becoming a professional bathroomologist.
ToiletFinder currently features user reviews, like a kind of poop Yelp. But founder Michael Li has decided to class up the joint by hiring a professional writer to scour New York's public pee spots. He's offering $100 a day plus a share of Google AdSense profits for the successful candidate, who must be funny, college-educated, and willing to be a little disgusting. (And even if you don't get the gig, he says he'll pay $20 for a good review.)
This is Ming the clam. It's 507 years old -- or anyway, it was 507 years old in 2006, when researchers who suspected it might be impressively ancient got kind of carried away trying to figure out just how old it was, and killed it. It's like an O. Henry story, but with bivalves.
We've long said that dolphins are assholes, and now, we know exactly what kind of assholes they are: the kind of hipster assholes who just can't stay out of Brooklyn. They keep sneaking into the borough in search of artisanal sardines, tight tail-pants, and retro blowhole tattoos, and then getting caught in various Brooklyn waterways. The latest infiltrator: A dolphin stuck in a creek in Coney Island, probably on his way to a Joss Whedon-themed burlesque show.
In Beijing, the city whose air is so polluted it can make a 1,000-foot skyscraper invisible behind a wall of smog, an 8-year-old girl is now being treated for lung cancer. She's the youngest lung cancer patient in China. But don't worry, says the hospital treating her -- it has nothing to do with the city's dirty air! She probably just smokes too much.