You might just think of Singapore as a place where you should think twice about tossing a piece of gum into a public fountain lest you find yourself unable to sit down for a week or two. Well, the caning capital of the world now has another, less upsetting claim to fame (cane to fame? My God, I am HILARIOUS): It has opened the world's first commercial vertical farm.

The first exciting golf game in recorded history took place Monday at the San Juan Hills Golf Club in San Juan Capistrano, Calif. That's in lovely Orange County, the place that brought the world Richard Nixon, No Doubt, and, most recently, a two-foot-long live leopard shark that fell from the sky and landed near the 12th tee box, presumably alarming the guys who were standing around getting old in weird, colorful pants.

In case you are wondering what a tee box is, it's the place where you hit your first ball. Which might lead you to wonder if the shark was some kind of a golf fan? But no. The shark was in fact probably dropped by some kind of bird.

Usually, when your house's walls are dripping blood, it's a sign you are living in the Amityville Horror and it's time to move. But recent architecture school grad Jack Munro (who is British -- big surprise when the British people have the weird ideas) thinks bloody walls could potentially be a feature, not a bug. Munro has discovered that bricks made out of animal blood and sand might be a pretty darn reasonable building material.

Since we use about 50 billion plastic water bottles a year, it would kind of behoove us to maybe do something useful with them. Which is why Will.i.am (of the Black Eyed Peas) and Coca-Cola (of the thing you drink when you're hungover) have come up with an environmental initiative called Ekocycle to turn these bottles into clothes and household products, rather than just shit that floats in the ocean and kills stuff.

We are used to all kinds of displays of gourmet-ness now. Every other day, some crazy person posts on Facebook that they want to borrow a blow-torch to make their own crème brûlée. Molecular gastronomists make entire meals out of foam that tastes like other foam. And now, elephants are shitting out coffee.

If you are saying to yourself right now, "No way elephants are really shitting out coffee, that's just something you said to get me to read this," well, sorry. I do want you to read this, but I only want you to read it so that you can understand that elephants are LITERALLY shitting out coffee. Coffee is what they are literally shitting out.

The Haus of Gaga creative team (would it have killed them to have spelled it House? Perhaps) is launching a Lady Gaga-themed water. The name and shape of the bottle is a secret for now, which means that the unbearable yearning we have inside of us to know every detail about this will have to somehow lay dormant until further notice.

We are pleased but not totally surprised that this spring, Levi's will debut a pant that is 20 percent recycled material. After all, ever since the first coal miner put on a pair of Levi's in 1873 and said to himself, "I'm going to go out and make money and get mercury poisoning, but hell if I ain't gonna look good doing it," Levi's have been cool. Turning 3.5 million water, soda, and beer bottles into polyester fiber (which will then be woven with cotton fiber to make fabric) is just the next step in that cool evolution.

Getting a DUI after going out on a Monday night is pretty serious business already, and to do so with a hamster on your lap -- well, say what you want about Oregon resident Nicole Huey, 27, but she's clearly committed to the DUI lifestyle.

Officers pulled Huey over at around 12:30 a.m. Tuesday, and immediately saw the hamster. It then took three of them to get it out of the car. Mike Rowe, a spokesperson for the Beaverton, Ore., police department, wrote on the department's Facebook page that "It appeared that the hamster wanted to stay in the vehicle." With all due respect, Mr. Rowe, a) it weighs like three ounces and b) do you really think that hamsters "want" things? We're going to just assume you were trying to be funny. Like this video.

I used to go to the same yoga place as Sting. And I have to say he was a very nice guy, always with a genial hello, as if he was just a dude, and not in fact a really talented musician who used to be in the greatest band ever until he went solo and started opening himself up to occasionally deserved derision. At any rate, Sting did seem nice! So it was most gratifying to discover that he just refused to play Pasay's SM Mall of Asia arena in the Philippines, upon discovering that plans for an expansion of the (already rather disgustingly enormous) property called for the destruction of 182 trees.

A group called Save 182 has been fighting this expansion, and apparently Sting got some letters from them, and was like, "Yeah, those people cutting down the trees are bad -- let's say I don't help make them any more money and cancel my concert here!"

So if you're in Italy any time soon and you find yourself feeling a little high, it's not just the wine and the proximity to great art. It's because there are drugs in the air. Yes, like the kind of exciting drugs people do to get loaded -- cocaine, marijuana -- and also slightly more everyday stuff like caffeine and nicotine.

The levels of these substances found in the air are not actually going to get you wasted. They are trace amounts.