Whatever. We'll believe it when we see a real yeti.
Maybe they can turn it all into ethanol, like they did with Four Loko.
This is not a "Congress is back in session" joke.
Pretty soon we won't even have to bathe. We'll just walk around in our odor-absorbing clothes, giggling to ourselves that no one knows how disgusting we are.
DIY the shit out of your life. Simultaneously inform all potential friends and suitors that you're annoying and probably just talk about food all the time.
This was particularly nice of them because it's so easy to make water jokes about their beer.
Oh, that's all we needed: a new, grosser way for dosed-up livestock to spread antibiotic resistance.
Conditions are right in an alkaline lake in Tanzania for flamingos to have a big breeding season. We are rooting for them.
Satellites are letting scientists know what happened to all the sewage from Hurricane Sandy. Which we need to know about, even though it's uh, crappy news.