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School cook in Sweden told to make her food less delicious

Casey Lehman
Swedish school lunch. Doesn't look THAT great.

When you were growing up and you ate your school lunch of disgusting gristle-filled burgers and rubbery pizza and creamed chipped beef, did you ever think that one day there might be a school somewhere where the lunches were too good? Well, such is the case in the magical socialist paradise of Sweden. (You didn't think it was going to be in the U.S., did you? Ha. School lunches were bad when we were young, and now that there are 46 kids to one classroom reading 14-year-old textbooks, we can only imagine what's happened to LUNCH.) Annica Eriksson, the head cook at a school in central Sweden, has received an order from the municipality to decrease the quality of her cooking.

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Two Australians will be given a home and bathrobes and forced to get everything else secondhand

If you're a typical middle-class Westerner, even one who shops at thrift stores a lot, it could get kind of frustrating not to be able to buy anything new for a week. Now imagine not being able to buy anything new for a week when all you own is a bathrobe. Two totally random Australians are about to experience exactly this.

Australian publicist Tamara DiMattina, a great fan of secondhand purchasing herself, started Buy Nothing New Month in 2010. Her latest experiment in less stuff/more ingenuity/recycling is to plunk two people without particularly strong eco-consciousness or anti-consumerist leanings down in an empty prefab dwelling, wearing nothing but bathrobes, and see how they manage for a week without purchasing anything new.

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Brewmaster makes beer out of yeast harvested from his beard

Rogue Ales
Try not to think about how you're putting my beard in your mouth.

This might seem really gross to you, and in a way it is: John Maier, a brewmaster at Oregon brewery Rogue Ales, made a beer using yeast collected from his beard. And, just as a comedian waits for applause, we will now wait for you to go vomit.

OK, if you're back now, we will tell you that while your impulse to vomit was totally justified -- you should also know this guy hasn't shaved since 1978, which is probably how his beard managed to collect so much brewing debris -- the truth is that the yeast used for fermentation just likes to live in places that are disgusting. Like animal hair, rotten fruit, and insects. So should you feel somehow less grossed out because yeast is just inherently gross? Only you can answer this.

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Chanel runway show uses wind turbines as fashion accessories

Chanel's spring ready-to-wear show took place on a runway decorated with wind turbines. The turbines towered over beautiful models strutting back in forth on an ornamental solar panel runway, wearing the 2013 trends, which included extremely chunky jewelry, flaring vinyl miniskirts, and dresses that look like high-fashion Daleks. Alexis Madrigal has a nice analysis of the show in the Atlantic:

To my eye, perhaps the most interesting thing is that this does not come out looking dystopian. Imagine this same kind of display with an oil refinery or a coal mine or a power plant. Or consider the feel of the show set near a tiny nuclear power plant giving off the trademark Cherenkov glow. There's almost no way to imagine models walking through those landscapes without it feeling like a commentary about humans *against* the machines.

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Long Island unlikely home to five alligators

scubadive67
Please Take Care Of This Alligator. Thank You.

Five alligators have been found on Long Island in the span of one week. Long Island is not a likely habitat for alligators, but it is a likely habitat for people who go on vacation in Florida, see a little alligator, and say, "Frickin' far out, how frickin' awesome would it be if we got this for Karen and Joe for their frickin' wedding!" One day the alligator is just a few inches long and it just sits on the table blinking while everyone does jello shots. Then there's a few funny Facebook photos of the thing standing on Patrick's face in the Spongebob kiddie pool. By the time holiday season rolls around the thing's a couple feet long and it eats seven Panettone at once and that's when it's clear the party is over.

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A beautiful, fragrant garden made from the poop of tennis players

Cook+Fox Architects
I like to play about three or four sets, and then, I usually shit for about an hour.

Tennis is classy. Poop is not classy. But still, people who play tennis do poop, which is why the Riverside Clay Tennis Organization is motivated to replace its insufficient porta-potties with amazing eco-friendly toilets that use human manure to feed flowers in Riverside Park.

These toilets are not mere places to drop the kids off at the pool. These toilets are gateways to beauty: The waste is composted and then pumped up to an elevated area, where it then fertilizes a delightful garden (which, as a bonus, will take over what's currently a parking lot). Doesn't that just make you feel good about taking a dump? Though we're not crazy about the Riverside Clay Tennis Association's slogan for the project, Recycle Yourself, which is not totally inaccurate but maybe a little gross or just too much reality for us.

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Manhunt for woman who rode a manatee finally comes to an end

Pinellas County Sheriff's Office
OK, you're riding a manatee, and that's bad, but also, what the hell are you wearing?

It is not rare that people are both clueless and trashy, but it is rare that people manage to display both of these publicly to such stunning effect that it A) is captured on film and B) becomes totally delicious news. A woman in Florida tried to ride a manatee the other day, and people were really pissed about it and hunted for her dumb ass for a few hours before one Ana Gloria Garcia Gutierrez turned herself in and said something to the effect of "OK, yes, it was I, it was indeed I riding the manatee, and I'm not going to pretend otherwise, because there's a picture of me doing it, and you know how I look really happy and excited to ride a manatee in that photo? Well, I don't feel happy or excited to ride a manatee now."

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Now we can get drunk on artisanal bourbon at the farmers market

Kings County Distillery

Good news for lovers of handcrafted booze: New York's Gov. Andrew Cuomo has decided to let the makers of artisanal liquor peddle their wares at farmers markets and fairs. Like, for instance, these dudes who make "handcrafted bourbon and moonshine" from corn grown on a city lot next to their distillery in the Red Hook neighborhood of Brooklyn. (I tried to get grossed out by how perishingly hipsterish "handcrafted moonshine" is, but then it turned out the stuff was delicious. And then I was just too hammered to be such a bitch about it.) We are already looking forward to picking out the most turgid bunch of kale and deciding between molasses-cornmeal bread and olive-tarragon loaf while being all wasted and shit.

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Introducing England’s first building made of garbage

University of Brighton
The prototype house.

British architect Duncan Baker-Brown is vehement about the idea that trash doesn't exist. Or rather, it's not really trash -- it's just material that needs to be relocated. Like, for instance, relocated into a building made out of the stuff that's going up this fall on the campus of the University of Brighton. "There is a huge pile of construction waste that's building up in this country and to ignore is quite frankly sinful," Baker-Brown, co-founder of BBM Sustainable Design, told the Guardian. "Through this project we are going to show that there is no such thing as waste." 

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We think this kid who licked an entire subway rail should donate himself to science

So this kid licked an entire subway railing (for $1), which is among the more disgusting ways you can interact with public transit. Our favorite part is the gentleman in the background who, speaking for an appalled public everywhere, says, "That was nasty."

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