Comic by Kate Beaton

Brain Pickings has dug up a list of 41 “don’ts” for female bicyclists from an 1895 New York newspaper, and they are downright breathtaking in their amazingness. Here are some of our favorites:

  • Don’t be a fright.
  • Don’t faint on the road.
  • Don’t wear a man’s cap.
  • Don’t wear tight garters.
  • Don’t criticize people’s “legs.”
  • Don’t wear loud hued leggings.
  • Don’t cultivate a “bicycle face.”
  • Don’t wear laced boots. They are tiresome.
  • Don’t imagine everybody is looking at you.
  • Don’t go to church in your bicycle costume.
  • Don’t wear a garden party hat with bloomers.
  • Don’t chew gum. Exercise your jaws in private.
  • Don’t wear white kid gloves. Silk is the thing.
  • Don’t ask, “What do you think of my bloomers?”
  • Don’t use bicycle slang. Leave that to the boys.
  • Don’t let your golden hair be hanging down your back.
  • Don’t allow dear little Fido to accompany you.
  • Don’t scratch a match on the seat of your bloomers.
  • Don’t discuss bloomers with every man you know.
  • Don’t scream if you meet a cow. If she sees you first, she will run.
  • Don’t appear to be up on “records” and “record smashing.” That is sporty.

Don’t discuss bloomers with every man you know. DON’T DISCUSS BLOOMERS WITH EVERY MAN YOU KNOW.

I love this list more than anything and I am going to go out and do every one of these things right now. 

See: