Politics aside, you really DO want to move to Canada
Photo: Anka KayPoliteness, Kate Beaton, and relative social progressivism are just gravy on the poutine of Canada’s superiority. Here’s the fries and curds: As global warming worsens, Canada may become the world’s wealthiest country.
A short list of areas outside of “moose density” where Canada’s primed to dominate:
- Food security. New weather patterns will make the frozen north into prime breadbasket material.
- Oil availability. Alberta’s tar sands have enough oil that they could be supplying 30 percent of U.S. imports by 2030. Forget drinking our milkshake — Canada will own our milkshake.
- Existence of trees. Canada is the world’s third-most-forested country, so it’ll probably have a few stragglers left even as we move towards a future that makes the Lorax cry.
- Legislative nimbleness. Canada’s government structure makes it easier to enact environmental laws quickly.
- Kids in the Hall. I just … they have the Kids in the Hall!
Ready your passports, sad Americans — or just get ready to learn some lessons from our flappy-headed neighbors to the north.