Skip to content Skip to site navigation

Election 2012

Comments

Bachmann promises $2 gas, unicorns

When I was in the fourth grade I took a lot of crap for not voting for Ty for class president, because he said he would give us double recess and free ice cream. I found those claims doubtful, and also Ty was kind of a dick, so I didn't vote for him, but everyone else did and they made fun of me. What I'm saying is, if you believe Michele Bachmann's claim that she can get gas back under $2 a gallon, then you should break out your Bieber tee and your juice box, because you are essentially an …

Comments

Rick Perry used to be Al Gore's biggest fan

Rick "climate scientists are a secular cult" Perry used to love Al Gore like he now loves prayer days. The terrifyingly anti-science Texas governor, presidential candidate, and coiffure model was the Texas campaign chairman for Al Gore's presidential run in 1988. Perry claims that was before Gore got all big into global warming, and that could definitely get him off the hook, if it were true. But it's not. Combating the greenhouse effect was one of Gore's campaign priorities in his '88 campaign. It was part of his stump speech, and he partnered with Republican Sen. John Chaffee (R.I.) to …

Read more: Election 2012, Politics

Comments

Rick Perry to run for president; climate deniers cheer

Perry, Perry, quite contraryPhoto: Gage SkidmoreThe climate skeptics can finally get excited about the 2012 election: Rick Perry, their candidate of choice, is about to officially throw his hat in the ring. Perry calls global warming "all one contrived phony mess that is falling apart under its own weight." Unlike many of the other GOP presidential candidates, he hasn't expressed concern about climate change in the past, so he won't have to do any back-pedaling. Notorious climate denier Marc Morano is a big fan: "Based on climate views alone, anyone who is holding their nose voting for Mitt Romney because …

Comments

Roseanne’s running for president — where does she stand on climate change?

Roseanne Barr told Jay Leno that she's planning to run for president (and also prime minister of Israel). She'll be representing her own "Green Tea Party" in the 2012 elections. So how green is this tea party? Well, last month Roseanne told the ladies of The View that she started running a macadamia farm in a bid to end climate change and also all other problems: If people were to get their protein from nuts rather than beef, you see, there'd be no global warming, and there would also be enough grain to feed all the hungry people. No global …

Read more: Election 2012

Comments

Meet your newest green candidate: Double Rainbow guy

It turns out that Double Rainbow guy, everyone's favorite non-cat meme producer since Tay Zonday, has a name (it's Paul Vasquez) and a face (it's sort of Cheech Marin meets Hurley). He also has an alternative energy platform and a presidential campaign, of sorts. A Facebook app called Votocracy allows normal (for some value of "normal") people to declare their candidacy, garner votes, and even debate each other in a sort of American Idolesque shadow campaign.  In a race where the "serious" candidates have included Michele Bachmann and Donald Trump, it's becoming increasingly hard to distinguish this kind of reality-show …

Read more: Election 2012

Comments

Anti-gay-marriage pledge calls for 'robust childbearing'

The anti-gay-marriage pledge being pushed by an influential Iowa conservative has made headlines this month for splintering the field of GOP presidential candidates by harkening back to the good ol' family-friendly days of slavery.  We haven't heard as much about the pledge's call for "robust childbearing." Not only must marriage be between a man and a woman, but it should result in that woman getting pregnant and giving birth lots of times, for the good of the republic. "The Marriage Vow" pledge [PDF], drawn up by right-wing group The Family Leader, calls for political candidates to: Recogni[ze] that robust childbearing …

Comments

Critical List: $6 billion ethanol subsidy to end; Wyoming wolves screwed by Senate politics

The Senate is ending a $6 billion subsidy program for ethanol; anti-ethanol food and environmental groups say it's "not a perfect comprise" but that they're "encouraged" by the step. Carbon captured from coal plants can feed biofuel-producing algae. Which is awesome because nobody else wants to eat it. Put that tuna burger down! Overfishing could extinguish five out of eight tuna species. Can renewable energy keep up with Japan's demand for fuel-suckers like heated toilets? Former New York Gov. George Pataki said he might run for president because he doesn't like the White House's energy policies. Um, okay. The Interior …

Comments

Pawlenty: 'Look at me! I don't believe in science either!'

Hey, remember Tim Pawlenty? I think he's running for state auditor or something. Pawlenty used to think climate change was a major priority, back when he was governor of Minnesota and supported cap-and-trade. But then Mitt Romney and Jon Huntsman showed underbelly by admitting that they believe in science -- a striking liability in this race -- and Pawlenty took that opportunity to swoop in and firmly establish himself as the most anti-climate-science candidate besides Bachmann and Perry and all the other ones! Go get 'em, T-Paw. Here's Pawlenty's attempt at ginning up some Bachmann-style crazy: "So there is climate …

Read more: Election 2012, Politics

Comments

Bringin' crazy Bach

Photo: DonkeyHoteyIt's official: Michele Bachmann just kicked off her campaign to win the 2012 Republican presidential nomination by comparing herself to a clown-suit-wearing serial killer. In case anyone still needed a reminder of just how batsh*t crazy she is, we've collected more choice quotes highlighting both her intellectual acumen and her position on the environment (which basically amounts to her personal leprechaun telling her to "burn it all"). Gather round the caribou coffee klatch -- and start the countdown till Mad Michele tops these howlers. On the moral dangers of high-speed rail: "It is a brand new, billion-dollar high speed …

Read more: Election 2012

Comments

Has Obama lost environmental voters?

Al Gore's Rolling Stone critique of President Obama's failure to act on the climate crisis is further evidence of environmentalists' broad frustration with this administration. Gore now joins former Interior Secretary Bruce Babbitt as yet another former Clinton administration official whose dismay at Obama's undermining of climate legislation, oil-industry cheerleading, enormous expansion of coal mining for export to China, and capitulations on public lands issues have overcome their innate reluctance to criticize a Democratic president and risk ostracism from the Beltway establishment. This increased boldness follows a major evolution in the environmental movement itself: Driven by grassroots frustration, major environmental …

Read more: Election 2012, Politics