They told us the world would end in 2012, and it’s TRUE. The news that emerged yesterday about the imminent Great Bacon Shortage of 2013 can mean nothing but the End of Days.

The Los Angeles Times quotes an industry trade group as saying that “a world shortage of pork and bacon next year is now unavoidable” due to the summer’s crazy weather.

Blame the drought conditions that blazed through the corn and soybean crop this year. Less feed led to herds declining across the European Union “at a significant rate,” according to the National Pig Assn. in Britain.

QUICK, EVERYBODY BUY ALL THE BACON. Actually, before you do, consider that this news has come from an industry with an interest in getting us all to buy their products — and that this situation is actually a pretty gruesome side effect of the profit motive. Basically, expensive corn has led pig farmers to “process” their pigs early, rather than feed them slightly more expensive corn for a slightly longer period of time. Bloomberg explains:

U.S. hog farmers are slaughtering animals at the fastest pace since 2009 as a surge in feed costs spurs the biggest losses in 14 years, signaling smaller herds next year and a rebound in pork prices.

The 73.3 million hogs processed in eight months through August were the most in three years, U.S. Department of Agriculture data show. Pork supply will drop to the lowest per- capita since 1975 next year, the USDA estimates.

But, whatever the reason for the shortage, there is obviously only one rational response: despair.