2 Chainz, if you aren’t already acquainted, is a rapper who pens tasteful lyrics like “All I want for my birthday is a big booty ho.” He also wrote a cookbook, #Meal Time, with the yummiest recipes from his tour bus (and believe it or not, they aren’t just coke). Oh, did you need a nugget from his all-caps intro?

YOU’RE ON THE ROAD AND YOU’RE HUNGRY. 2 CHAINZ HAS BEEN THERE, AND NOW HE’S REACHING INTO HIS DEEP, FLAVORFUL POCKETS TO HOOK YOU UP WITH THE RECIPES YOU’LL NEED FOR YOUR TIME OUT ON THE ROAD.

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Nice of him, isn’t it? He sprinkles in health tips for good measure:

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WHILE BUTTER IS ALWAYS PREFERABLE TO SUBSTITUTES, MIXING IN OLIVE OIL CAN WORK, AS IT’S BOTH HEALTHIER AND HAS A HIGHER SMOKE POINT THAN BUTTER.

One can only assume Chainz means organic, rBGH-free butter from local cows, of course.

Grub Street found the 16 most amazing instructions from #Meal Time. Here are a few:

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  • First step of sautéed asparagus: “Drape yourself in an Adidas sweatsuit, chainz n thangs.”
  • First step of garlic mashed potatoes: “If wearing a four-finger ring, carefully place it on a side table before starting to cook.”
  • First step of garlicky green beans: “Call Fergie, invite her to watch a movie on Netflix. Once she accepts, start making green beans.”

(Green beans from your backyard garden, natch.)

If there’s any obvious takeaway from 2 Chainz’s cookbook, it’s that cooking is a ritual that involves bling celebrity friends taking your time and savoring the moment. Are we looking at the unexpected poster boy for the slow food movement?