Finally, researchers have come up with a biodegradable golf ball for use on cruise ships! So when you knock your ball off your GIANT ENERGY HOG FLOATING CITY, it will only brain a dolphin, not collect on the bottom of the ocean. Earth: saved!
The balls are made out of lobster shells, so that after you take off your linen bib and leave the captain’s table, you can put on your plus-fours and repair to the Lido Deck to hit the remains of your meal into the sea. Other upcoming recycling projects include an all-natural massage chair for your island home made of discarded freshwater pearls, and an eco-friendly yacht cozy knitted out of upcycled ball gowns.
In all seriousness: Making crushed lobster shells into a biodegradable plastic substitute is pretty cool. “We’re using a byproduct of the lobster canning industry which is currently miserably underutilized,” says one researcher, because apparently there’s a lobster canning industry (who knew!). And the stuff has other applications, like flower pots that dissolve when planted.
The lobster balls are also cheaper than other biodegradable golf balls — and even if you’re not hitting off golden tees on your cruise ship, if you like golf and are imperfect at it, you’re going to end up with, excuse us, wet balls. Might as well make sure they’re not a water hazard.