No way Rick Santorum is going the Mitt Romney route. Everybody knows that believing in global warming is for liberals, rational people, scientists, and other don't-want-to-win-the-GOP-nomination types. That's why Santorum told Rush Limbaugh (who yesterday announced that Romney had killed his chances by admitting that he understood how science works) that climate change is a vast liberal conspiracy.

Let's break down his statement:

I believe the earth gets warmer, and I also believe the earth gets cooler,

Translation: Tide goes in, tide goes out.

and I think history points out that it does that and that the idea that man through the production of CO2 which is a trace gas in the atmosphere and the manmade part of that trace gas is itself a trace gas is somehow responsible for climate change is, I think, just patently absurd when you consider all of the other factors, El Nino, La Nina, sunspots, you know, moisture in the air.

Translation: I learned some words from watching the Weather Channel! Look at me go!

There's a variety of factors that contribute to the earth warming and cooling, and to me this is an opportunity for the left to create — it's a beautifully concocted scheme because they know that the earth is gonna cool and warm. It's been on a warming trend so they said, "Oh, let's take advantage of that and say that we need the government to come in and regulate your life some more because it's getting warmer," just like they did in the seventies when it was getting cool, they needed the government to come in and regulate your life because it's getting cooler.

Translation: I am talking complete bullcrap right now, but anyone who didn't stop listening when I said "an opportunity for the left to create … a beautifully concocted scheme" isn't exactly going to check my facts, are they? Who am I kidding — you're all listening to Rush Limbaugh, so I could basically say anything and you'd swallow it. Hey, did you know gay immigrants caused the economic crisis so Nancy Pelosi could give everyone forced abortions?

It's just an excuse for more government control of your life, and I've never been for any scheme or even accepted the junk science behind the whole narrative. 

Translation: Fetch me my perpetual-motion homeopathic tinfoil hat! Good day sir I SAID GOOD DAY.

Limbaugh closed the interview by telling Santorum that his "passion is infectious," which is weird because surely neither of them believes in the germ theory of disease.