Introducing the world's first compostable bikini
Women hate swimsuit shopping, am I right? And we all know why: Because swimsuits do not disintegrate when buried underground for 180 days. Luckily, designer Linda Loudermilk has come out with the world's first line of compostable swimwear.
Yes, they're hideously unflattering (warning: image mildly NSFW, definitely NSFA where A is aesthetic sense). But they achieve the thing women really care about in a swimsuit: disposability. Plus, they look like garbage bags, so their compostability is never far from your mind — because when people look at you in a bikini, you want their first thought to be about decomposition.
Loudermilk suggests that you give the disposable suits to your guests, something like the paper thong at a tanning salon. So in addition to disappearing when buried, they also make your guests disappear!