Alternative fuel source: Doritos?
We use hydrocarbons in cars, home heating, and so forth because hydrocarbons burn. We also make snack chips out of hydrocarbons because we are disgusting. Ergo, we should be able to run our combustion energy off of Doritos!
Okay, so it would probably miss the point if we tried to replace fossil fuels with snack chips, which have to be manufactured at great expense to the environment. But commenters on Reddit report that Doritos, Fritos, Cheetos and other representatives of the -itos family are all excellent fire-starting fuel in a pinch. Which means that maybe, as we phase out hyperprocessed food, we can just funnel the extra right into our home heating systems.