Does anyone else remember those Ben Stiller Show sketches where Bruce Springsteen would, like, deliver a baby? Jon Bon Jovi is basically that, but for real. He’s opening a community kitchen in New Jersey where patrons pay what they can afford — or, if they can’t afford it, they can get gift certificates in exchange for volunteer work in the kitchen, the kitchen garden, or elsewhere in the community. (And don’t act like you’re too good to work in the kitchen. You know who works in the kitchen? JON BON JOVI works in the kitchen. No fooling, he washes pots and stuff.)

Okay I can’t take it anymore, I wrote that entire informative paragraph without one Bon Jovi pun and THEY MUST COME OUT! If you’ve been livin’ on a prayer and you’re wanted bread or alive, you can go down in a blaze of glory to the Soul Kitchen and it’ll be there for you! But be careful washing dishes because the floors are slippery when wet!

WHEW. I feel much better.