This is the world’s biggest, cockiest flower. It only blooms for three days. It only blooms every four or five years. AND IT SMELLS LIKE A DEAD PERSON.

Yep.
Belgian National Botanic Garden
Yep.

I’m not just saying that. The scent has been described as akin to “a dead body lying in Florida for two weeks,” so you KNOW it smells bad. (Oh, Florida.) As International Science Times reports:

The corpse flower is located Belgium’s National Botanic Garden, and has grown to 8 feet and weighs 200 pounds. In the middle of the flower’s petals is a massive shoot rising skyward. This is what gives the corpse flower its horrible smell …

The smell, which comes from sulfur compounds in the flower, is so bad that insects that feed on dead animals and flesh are attracted to it, which is the corpse flower’s plan all along: the flies pollinate the flower.

DUH, says anyone who’s ever smelled a dick before.What, you don’t think it looks like a wang? I’m not the one with the dirty mind here, buddy — its scientific name is Amorphophallus titanium, aka “giant weird-shaped dick.” THAT IS LITERALLY WHAT THAT MEANS. Its friends just call it “Corpse Flower.”

This week, 5,000 people came to see ol’ penis-petals at the botanic garden when staff notified them via Facebook. Because this is how we live now. Cock blossoms and social media.

Ta da!
Belgian National Botanical Garden
Ta da!