Do Americans care about bike theft? Mercifully, some do. In fact, some will repeatedly hit you with their purse if you ask them for help cutting a bike lock. But others will help you free a chained-up bike, then ask as an afterthought if it’s actually yours. Watch the unexpected hilarity:

Totally Rad Clothing made the video as sort of a bike-related sociological experiment (and sneaky viral promotion for its T-shirt company, which also happens to sell a CAT PONCHO). It’s hard to pick the best line of dialogue:

Stranger: Is this your bike?
Chain-cutting guy: Uh, no.
Stranger: Then how come you’re cutting the chain?
Chain-cutting guy: Because I wanted it?

Same stranger, later: Is this your bike?
Chain-cutting guy: Now it is!

Unfortunately most (real) bike thefts don’t end this happily — police fail to recover 52 percent of stolen bikes, and only 5 percent of bike theft victims get their bike returned. Make sure you write down your bike’s serial number and double-lock it, if at all possible, with a heavy-duty U-lock as well as a big-ass chain. Either that or be prepared to run a sting operation to steal your bike back.