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Stop us if you think you’ve heard this one before: Morrissey, sad-sack rock god, recently blasted meat-eaters as no different than pedophiles. (In 1985, he said eating meat is “like biting into your grandmother,” which we find funnier and less confusing.) Not only did he write on his website that meat eaters would’ve been Nazi sympathizers during World War II, but he also refuses to talk to people who eat meat, full stop.

Here are the juicy bits:

I see no difference between eating animals and paedophilia. They are both rape, violence, murder. If I’m introduced to anyone who eats beings, I walk away. Imagine, for example, if you were in a nightclub and someone said to you “Hello, I enjoy bloodshed, throat-slitting and the destruction of life,” well, I doubt if you’d want to exchange phone numbers.

This charming man also has a few questions for famous people who aren’t vegetarian (as he has been since age 11):

I would like the Queen of England to be asked why she wears an electrocuted bear-cub on her head. I would like to ask all so-called celebrity chefs why they believe that animals should have no right to live. If Jamie ‘Orrible [chef Jamie Oliver] is so certain that flesh-food is tasty then why doesn’t he stick one of his children in a microwave? It would taste the same as cooked lamb.

Well. Heaven knows I’m miserable now.