Is that a tiny air conditioner in your pants, or do you just feel lukewarm about me? These cargo pants from Japan have a built-in battery-powered fan that sits in an exterior pocket, blowing cold air on the outside of your thigh. This is maybe not the most effective option, since ideally you want to cool major blood vessels, but it would be pretty awkward to sling the fan closer to your femoral artery. Also, you’d have to worry about shrinkage. Anyway, they probably keep you colder than pants with no thigh-fan at all.

You can buy the pants for $208, and a matching work shirt for $182. The shirt works like this:

It’s polyester, though, which I would think would defeat some of the purpose.

What if you don’t want to haul even a small, low-power battery around all day? Well then you obviously need this USB-powered A/C tie, as illustrated in this gloriously nuts comic strip sort of thing.

Uh, YEAH I want a tie that makes spiky blue arrows come out of my neck!