Who needs a planet when you can have Earth Ball? Each kit comes with a spray bottle of acid rain, spillable mini-barrels of oil, and printouts of irrelevant environmental legislation (ouch! My heart!). Practice up, kiddos. If you’re ever going to keep up with your parents, you have a lot of terrible habits to learn.

Thanks to the kids big and small at the Upright Citizens Brigade for the too-real video.