GRRM screenshot with wolf
Prizeo

For a writer so enamored with gore and, uh, more gore, George R. R. Martin sure has a soft spot for all creatures great and small. Or maybe it’s more like ‘all creatures great and greater': We can’t confirm his feelings toward bunnies, but the Song of Ice and Fire author is definitely a fan of wolves.

For several years now, Martin and his wife have been raising money for the Wild Spirit Wolf Sanctuary, in Santa Fé (somewhere in the Red Waste). On his Prizeo campaign page, Martin writes:

I’ve always been fond of wolves … direwolves in Westeros, and real wolves in the real world. US wolf populations hit critical lows during the twentieth century, and finding a way for humans to co-exist with this majestic creatures is an important part of the conservation movement.

If you are generous and loyal enough to wed your fortune to that of the wolves — to the tune of $20,000 — GRRM will stab, pummel, disembowel, dismember, behead, poison, immolate, target-practice, flay, eye-gouge, moon-door, wildfire, White-Walker, or otherwise render your fictional self no longer living in an upcoming book. Buyer beware.

Unless your pockets are as deep as those of a Bravosian banker, the steep price tag of literary immortality — well, technically, mortality — may be a deterrent. But since Right Conquers Might, you can still, with Pride and Purpose and a little coin, get A Taste of Glory, says Mashable:

If you don’t have $20,000 on hand, don’t worry. Everyone who donates any amount is automatically entered to win a tour of the wolf sanctuary and take a helicopter ride with the author/murderer-of-all-hopes-and-dreams himself. Other donation tiers include signed maps of Westeros, show scripts and Martin’s own hat.

I can think of few things nerdier nobler than to stride through a pack of direwolves, discussing dragons and wearing the maester’s own hat. Plus, I hear the Game of Thrones afterworld isn’t so bad.