Are you a speedy biker, but unable to shave precious fractional seconds off your race times? Consider throwing a party — a party IN THE REAR. Uh, I mean growing a mullet, if that’s not clear. As it turns out, the humble mullet is the most aerodynamic hairstyle.

This is based on actual research conducted in 1999. According to Outside magazine, scientists at Rome’s Università degli Biondi stuck cyclist Mario Cipollini in a wind tunnel and stuck different wigs on him to test which style provided the least wind resistance. Of the seven hairdos — bald, mohawk, fauxhawk, mullet, fade, and “Coolio” (remember this was the ’90s) — the mullet was the undisputed winner, shaving (ha) almost 10 seconds off Cipollini’s calculated time compared to the second-place bald-headed style.

It kind of makes sense. I mean, mullets are practically clones of those fancy aero helmets:

mullets
chuckwaters83 / Geof Wilson

Of course, only one will protect your skull. But what do you care more about — avoiding brain damage, or looking BITCHIN’?

In fact, the hair research did contribute to aerodynamic helmet design (no joke — Outside says, “their research played a large role in the development of Rudy Project’s acclaimed Wingspan aero helmet”). But it did not lead Cipollini to grow hockey hair. This dog did, though, and it has never been faster in its life:

mullet_dog
dasroofless

OK, I just found that picture and was excited about it, sue me.