GIT OUT THA WAY
Steven Vance
GIT OUT THA WAY!

Ready for a math problem? A train leaves Port Huron, Mich., and heads toward Chicago at 110 miles per hour. If an idiot is hit head-on by the train because his iPod is turned up so loud he can’t hear its warning toots, what are the chances he’d survive?

In the case of 22-year-old Darryle See, pretty good. See was thrown 20 feet by the high-speed Amtrak train on Friday morning, yet he only suffered a couple broken bones. LaPorte County Police Maj. John Boyd talked to NBC Chicago about the extreme unlikelihood of it all:

Boyd said that during his career in law enforcement he’s never heard of anyone living after a full-impact hit by a train while on foot.

“It was absolutely amazing,” he said. “I’ve seen a number of people get hit by trains and it’s never a good thing.”

Never? You’d think that once or twice someone getting hit by a train would be good, or even great! But I guess not.

One can only hope that See got checked out for possible Megadeth-related hearing loss while his neck wounds and pelvic fractures were getting tended. And that he bought a lottery ticket afterward.