If you’re anything like us, you’ve often thought that gardening just isn’t violent enough. Using your hands or even a spade to dig up dirt and plant seeds is too peaceful and boring. That’s why Flower Shell wants to introduce you to a 12-gauge shotgun that shoots flower seeds! Perfect, right? (Plus, your neighbors will love the noise!)

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Flower Shell

Flower Shell is billed as “the shotgun shell that brings life.” (Unfortunately the military wasn’t into it.) Watch and wince at the just-plain-wrongness of it:

The company responsible, Studio Total, is a zany Swedish ad agency, which explains why the idea sounds like performance art or an Onion piece (the project’s Indiegogo fundraising page is down, which doesn’t help their credibility, either). According to Treehugger, company founder Per Cromwell thought gardening just took too dang long:

Hour and hours of weeding, seeding and cutting and all I could think of was, how could this be made more fun? One day when seeding some meadow flowers it struck me, this could be made much easier, faster, better using a shotgun.

Yep, nothing says “contemplative Sunday afternoon” like walking around your backyard with a firearm!

Walking through a field of meadow flowers, cornflowers, daisies and poppies an early summer Sunday morning made me realize this was working. This flourishing field was my creation, it was all done with 142 shotgun shells.

This has gotta be satire. (The first available seed-bullet is Columbine, after all.) If nothing else, though, the “violence vs. growth” imagery is pretty provocative. Next up: fracking for friendship?