snake
Screenshot via SMH

On a flight from Australia to Papua New Guinea today, passengers found a snake on the plane. Surprisingly, no one yelled, “I have had it with these motherf*cking snakes on this motherf*cking plane!” (Well, probably someone did — it wasn’t reported, though, so we can still think well of the human race.) Instead, reports the Sydney Morning Herald, “a woman pointed outside the plane and told cabin crew: ‘There’s a snake on the wing … There’s its head and if you look closely you can see a fraction of its body.”’ It also was not reported whether the woman was William Shatner.

Here, you can see the snake. It’s pretty sad, actually:



The scrub python, a long snake common to the region, did survive the entire flight to Papua New Guinea, but he probably wasn’t specifically going for free air travel. More likely, he was looking for yummy rodents to eat, and if you’re looking for yummy rodents, what more sensible place than inside a jet engine? He was “tucked away ‘quite neatly,'” according to passengers, “but then the wind caught the last 30 centimeters of its tail, ‘pulling him straight out.'” We can only guess what was going through the snake’s head, but we imagine it was laced with more profanity than even Samuel Jackson could come up with.