One of the results of the government shutdown: no weddings at national monuments. Another result: Since the national parks are closed, Smokey Bear is just sitting around twiddling his thumbs. And last night, these two great tastes tasted great together on the Colbert Report, as Stephen stepped up to marry a couple whose Jefferson Memorial ceremony was threatened by the shutdown.
Of course, since they had Smokey Bear as their best man, this couple gets all kinds of magical gifts from the Parks Department — inner tranquility, the ability to spew prodigious amounts of steam approximately every 90 minutes, imperviousness to forest fires, animal language. Or, well, they would get those, if it weren’t for the shutdown, but right now the staff member in charge of mystical gifts is on furlough. Bad luck, guys!