2-chainz-flickr-demxx
demxx

2 Chainz, if you aren’t already acquainted, is a rapper who pens tasteful lyrics like “All I want for my birthday is a big booty ho.” He also wrote a cookbook, #Meal Time, with the yummiest recipes from his tour bus (and believe it or not, they aren’t just coke). Oh, did you need a nugget from his all-caps intro?

YOU’RE ON THE ROAD AND YOU’RE HUNGRY. 2 CHAINZ HAS BEEN THERE, AND NOW HE’S REACHING INTO HIS DEEP, FLAVORFUL POCKETS TO HOOK YOU UP WITH THE RECIPES YOU’LL NEED FOR YOUR TIME OUT ON THE ROAD.

Nice of him, isn’t it? He sprinkles in health tips for good measure:

WHILE BUTTER IS ALWAYS PREFERABLE TO SUBSTITUTES, MIXING IN OLIVE OIL CAN WORK, AS IT’S BOTH HEALTHIER AND HAS A HIGHER SMOKE POINT THAN BUTTER.

One can only assume Chainz means organic, rBGH-free butter from local cows, of course.

Grub Street found the 16 most amazing instructions from #Meal Time. Here are a few:

  • First step of sautéed asparagus: “Drape yourself in an Adidas sweatsuit, chainz n thangs.”
  • First step of garlic mashed potatoes: “If wearing a four-finger ring, carefully place it on a side table before starting to cook.”
  • First step of garlicky green beans: “Call Fergie, invite her to watch a movie on Netflix. Once she accepts, start making green beans.”

(Green beans from your backyard garden, natch.)

If there’s any obvious takeaway from 2 Chainz’s cookbook, it’s that cooking is a ritual that involves bling celebrity friends taking your time and savoring the moment. Are we looking at the unexpected poster boy for the slow food movement?