OK, so this video of a Golden Eagle trying to snack on an unsuspecting toddler in Montreal, which everyone was obsessed with from about 11:30 to 12:30 last night, is supposedly fake. Or anyway, Gawker says so, but Gawker also says they don’t hate Zooey Deschanel, so who are you going to trust? I am being honest with you: I do hate Zooey Deschanel, and I think this video is real. Here’s why.
1) It is awesome. Do you want to live in a world where this didn’t happen? I thought so.
2) Just saying “oh, Golden Eagles don’t snatch babies” or “oh, Golden Eagles don’t go to Montreal” doesn’t cut it. Maybe this eagle is cooler than other eagles. Humans don’t consume 18 pounds of horse tranquilizers a day for 60 years and survive, but you still believe in Keith Richards.
3) There are so many other explanations besides the boring, cynical “it’s a hoax” response. Maybe it’s a propaganda video for the coming eagle uprising, and it was never meant to be leaked to humankind. Or maybe this was actually an attempted hit. Lots of people want to get rid of annoying babies — what better way than feeding them to an eagle? That seems like a perfectly reasonable explanation of why someone would want to keep it out of the news media, Gawker. Think you’re so smart.