Whose week DOESN’T need twin polar bears? The five-week-old cubs opened their eyes for the first time last week in a video that will break your squee-o-meter. Maximum cuteness starts about a minute in:

The cubs’ sex won’t be determined until a vet is allowed to see them in March, but that shouldn’t stop staff at Munich’s Hellabrunn Zoo from naming them Hans and Franz.* Although they probably weren’t doing too much weightlifting at birth — they only weighed about 14 ounces each. They’re still tough, though — after all, they made it through the risky first five weeks, when 70 percent of captive polar bears die. Writes NBC:

“Polar bears are quite small at birth and are at more risk of dying in the first weeks than nearly any other mammal,” biologist Beatrix Koehler told NBC News…

“We closely monitored whether [the mom] warmed the two cubs adequately, had enough milk and whether the little ones found the feeding source immediately,” said Koehler, who has been working at the Munich zoo for 30 years. “All of them did very well.”

Their mama, Giovanna, is only seven, so remember that the next time you feel judgmental watching Sixteen and Pregnant.

*Yes, technically Hans and Franz were Austrian, not German. Please don’t email.