If we were alive one of us would eat the other one so don't feel bad.
If we were alive one of us would eat the other one so don’t feel bad.

You love eating lobster? Well, lobsters love it more. Scientists have long suspected that lobster cannibalism takes place — now there’s proof. A recent video by University of Maine grad student Noah Oppenheimer shows adult lobsters eating adolescent lobsters. Carnage here:

Granted, the young lobsters are tied to a camera (not exactly fair). But the video shows lobster predators like cod and skate refusing the easy pickings, while the lobsters themselves — this word seems so gross in this context, but what else can we say? — indulge.

So why is this happening? Are lobsters who eat lobsters the worst lobsters in the world? More likely, their cruelty is a response to abrupt changes in their lobster universe. Like: There are a shitload of lobsters right now. Many of their predators have been overfished (hello, cod), and in other cases their predators are finding prime lobster habitat — the coasts of Maine and eastern Canada — a bit warm for their tastes. So when confronted with a dearth of lobster food, the big lobsters have to consider whether they would rather go hungry or eat the very lobsters with whom they compete. Even for a lobster, that’s a no-brainer.