Alden WickerI’m so bored by my outfit today, I can’t even tell you.
I tried to punch up this H&M maxi dress, but I don’t have any colorful jewelry or scarves. So I braided my hair, put on a huge pair of earrings I bought some time ago at Goodwill Annapolis, and tried some bright red lipstick for a more bohemian look. But really, I’m still wearing a black nightgown. The office has been silent about my outfit, which I’m going to have to interpret as quiet disapproval.
On the bright side, yesterday I got this lovely email from a fan:
Let me put it this way… Were I not happily married, and if I saw you wearing that outfit in, say, the local grocery co-op, I’d be looking for a ring.
Sir, you can find me each week at the Flatbush Food Co-op in Brooklyn, in case you are wondering.
I wish I knew which outfit he was talking about! Probably the one where my boobs were on display. I spent all day tugging, tugging, tugging. I had to hang up a picture and I was afraid if I reached too far over my head, everything would just pop out. But I made it through the day with no major mishaps. One commenter asked if I hadn’t even tried on the dress. Well, yes, I did try it on. I tried everything on. But I was so thrilled I guess I just said to myself, “It’s tight, but doable!” Or else I put on some pounds last week. Entirely possible.
Tonight I’ll finally have time to hit the yoga studio and try out my thrift store exercise clothes.
I say tomorrow is a cut-off jean day. Who’s with me? And who’s with me in supporting Grist?
More stories in this series:
I am going to eliminate as much plastic as possible from my life for two weeks. But I’m keeping my toothbrush. I’m not THAT crazy.
It took me two hours to buy five days’ worth of groceries that didn’t have any plastic packaging. Two hours! WTF?
Accepting Grist’s dare, I vow to wear only secondhand clothes for a week. Goodbye, Bloomingdale’s. Hello, Salvation Army.
Grist dared me to plan an eco-friendly party for my college buddies. The first challenge: making sure there’s enough food to be polite, but not so much that it goes to waste.
Get Grist in your inbox