It’s about time a site celebrated those of us without kids, right? (A site besides Grist, that is.) Enter TheNotMom.com. Yes, it’s horribly named (I like to think of myself as SO MUCH MORE than a lady sans kids, thankyouverymuch). And the site looks like it was designed by a preschool teacher circa the early ’90s. But its CONTENT evokes a gush of relief, with a blend of “OMG, I thought only my two friends who don’t want kids and I talked about this stuff in private Facebook messages” and “Where have you BEEN all my life?!”
Karen Malone Wright launched the site in 2011 after being bummed out by infertility sites and existing childfree-by-choice sites. TheNotMom, in contrast, is upbeat and first-person, aiming to be respectful and inclusive of any woman without a kid. For starters, there’s this instantly familiar list of shit people think it’s OK to say to the childfree:
- “You would make a great mom!”
- “You’ll understand when you have kids.”
- “Don’t you like kids?”
- “I think it is selfish not to have kids.”
Other recent posts include “It’s Ok To See Kids’ Films Without A Kid,” a discussion of workplaces where childfree women excel, a look at how childless women are discriminated against at work, and one husband’s experience without kids. Meatier pieces are here too, like an exploration of being a kidless woman of color, statistics about the childless — kid-free women earn more than men in four countries — and a post about sexual assault in the military. This is no fluffy “We hate babies and responsibility! More red wine, anyone?” site. Although those in that camp will probably like it too. Here’s hoping TheNotMom sticks around for another 18 to 22 years.