Guinea pigs, man. You experiment on ’em and they retaliate by disturbing your slumber with the loudest, smelliest orgy possible. Reports International Business Times:
Residents of the German town of Munster have filed a complaint about the loud sexual noises coming from the university — and pinned the blame on a gang of horny guinea pigs.
According to the complaint, filed in Munster’s administrative court, the guinea pigs’ group sex in the university’s research facility is too loud to bear.
The university has a little more than a dozen male and female guinea pigs inside a huge cage outdoors. The sign outside the cage reads: “These animals live in non-committal, mixed-gender groups and mate with every possible partner.”
Excellent sign. They should probably put that on the undergraduate dorms, too. But one guy wasn’t amused:
“The guinea pigs are unbelievably loud and stink to high heaven. It’s unbearable,” said 69-year-old Pavo R.
Apparently Pavo is fine with being 69 (tee-hee) but distinctly NOT FINE with animals enjoying a little carnal pleasure. And it sounds like Pavo will get his way: The guinea pigs’ cage was only 6.5 feet away from his property, yet the legal requirement is about 10 feet, so they have to be relocated. Not sure what those extra 3.5 feet are gonna do to muffle the screeching sounds of hedonistic guinea pigs, but whatever.
- Guinea Pig Sex 'Too Loud'? German University's Research Animals Evicted After Neighbor Complains, Huffington Post
- German Residents Complain Over Guinea Pigs’ Group Sex, International Business Times
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