Behold, the lumpsucker:
Lumpsuckers live in cold, northern waters — as Bec Crew writes at Scientific American, Icelanders have been eating them for centuries (like marshmallows, we imagine). And, just in general, they’re not so good at life. Crew:
[T]hey’re pretty awful swimmers, thanks to their round bodies and tiny fins, and when disturbed they tend to flap around aimlessly in different directions. Which is not how escape generally happens. As newly hatched larvae they are surprisingly well developed, equipped with a fully functional mouth and well-developed digestive system. This allows them to begin feeding on tiny crustaceans and fish just 10 days after hatching. Sometimes they’ll resort to eating each other because nature.
Also, they’re happy to stick on to things and just hang:
There are more photos and hapless videos where that came from, too, if you want to spend some time contemplating the goofier aspects of nature.
Lumpsucker Fish, Scientific American.