hana_yakiniku

Whether you avoid meat because it’s bad for the planet, because it’s bad for your health, or because you can’t afford it, you might be able to make use of the Hana Yakiniku. Along with an associated app for choosing fragrances, this accessory lets your phone emit the smell of meat — or curry, or coffee, or a host of other odors. (The meat smells will be available in November, but the scent gadget has been around for a while.)

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The idea is that you’ll be able to smell hearty meat, eat white rice (affordable and environmentally friendly!), and feel as satisfied as if you were chowing down on an actual cow. It’s a “radically new deliciousness that mankind finally managed to develop after seven million years of continuous evolution,” apparently (the video may not be entirely serious).

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The video suggests it for people on a budget, a diet, or a date (we’re not really sure how meat smells bring the couple closer together, but maybe each one thinks the other is a short rib). But of course it could also work for making nostalgic veggies and vegans relive their non-salad days. And obviously, for us, there’s only one true use for this thing: trolling self-righteous veggies and vegans by hiding a meat smell in a place they can’t find.