You’ve heard of BioWillie, Willie Nelson’s foray into the world of celebrity-branded biodiesel. But did you know that several other celebs, not to be outdone, have plans to unveil their own biofuel lines? During our series, Grist has been doused with requests from PR professionals to promote their clients’ fuelish products. We’re only too happy to oblige.
Celeb: Martha Stewart
Product: DIY Biofuel
The deal: Martha Stewart has partnered with IKEA to launch Biofuel-in-a-Box in spring 2007. The country’s chief domestic engineer says it will be possible to make 10 gallons of biofuel by mixing the contents of the box with everyday items you already have in your home. A homemade batch of biofuels for $19.95? Now that’s a hood thing.
Celeb: Al Gore
Product: Fill Up with the Truth
The deal: Flush with the success of his documentary An Inconvenient Truth, the former veep will unveil his own brand of biodiesel next fall. Gore will also embark on a state-to-state PowerPoint tour in a biodiesel-powered minibus in order to inspire a grassroots fuel frenzy.
Celeb: Britney Spears
Product: Oil of O’Lay
The deal: Flush with the success of ditching K-Fed, the pop princess is now offering natural, homegrown oils to the public. Spears’ product will soon be widely available, whether you want to see it or not.
Celeb: Pauly Shore
The deal: Not to be confused with E85, which is 85 percent ethanol, E99 ups the ante to 99 percent corn-based ethanol. Shore’s product, recently slammed in Texas, is corny. Very, very, very corny.
Celeb: Hillary Clinton
Product: Hillary in 2008
The deal: Biofuels run cars, cars get people to the polls, people at the polls vote (most of the time), some of them vote Democrat. Ergo, biofuels make people vote Democratic. Every little bit helps, so Hillary’s pumped.
Celeb: Jude Law
Product: Roll in the Hay
The deal: Law’s product, marketed as a hay-based biofuel, is really just regular gasoline infused with an aphrodisiac. Or so we suspect. What else could explain the widespread infatuation he inexplicably inspires?
Celeb: Richard Pombo
The deal: With spare time on his hands after this fall’s election loss, the former California representative will continue to pursue his goals by making ES85: that’s 15 percent gasoline, 85 percent endangered species.
Product: Pumpa Don’t Preach
The deal: The pop queen recently struck a deal to import native grasses from Malawi for processing into European biofuels, but has faced sharp criticism for skirting trade rules. She has reportedly hired Angelina Jolie as a consultant for future transactions.
Celeb: George W. Bush
The deal: BioDecider started out heavy on ethanol, but it was discovered that leakage from filling stations was corroding footwear. To save people’s soles, Bush adjusted his recipe. Today, BioDecider-ready vehicles run on straight bullshit.
Celeb: Jessica Simpson
Product: Corn of the Sea
The deal: Simpson’s short-lived product was quickly pulled from filling stations and K-Mart shelves when she began marketing it as a soft drink.
Want the real scoop on today’s biofuels news? See the rest of Grist’s special series.