Pig out: This week, the Greenie Pig opts out of disposable junk.Somewhere on the California coast, between redwood territory and the Bay Area, lies the world's most self-righteous coffee shop. My boyfriend, Ted, and I stopped there two summers ago for some much-needed caffeine. But as we queued up to order, handwritten signs confronted us from all angles. "We don't use disposable cups, utensils, or flatware," they sneered. "BYO or get out, you earth-hating douchebags!" OK, that's not exactly what the signs said. But that was the spirit of the message, and the coffee shop did, indeed, decline to serve …

I've become quite the calorie-counter lately. With the holiday season upon us, I'm really tightening my belt, carefully calculating the number of calories I'd consume from all kinds of daily choices and sniffing out ways to trim the buggers from my diet. Like many a calorie-counter before me can attest, it's frustrating work. Of course, by "calorie," I mean "pounds of greenhouse gas" and by "consume," I mean "emit into the atmosphere." Forgive me for the diet-speak, but perhaps you'd understand if you were hauling around a load of excess carbon like I am. After traveling from Seattle to far …

Photo: Elisabeth Kwak-HefferanFarm to table? Please, so 2009. Forest to table is where it's at right now. And while foraging one's own nettles, berries, or chestnuts (or paying top dollar for them at hip restaurants) has both foodies and greenies all in a tizzy these days, no other gathering activity has quite the cachet of mushroom hunting. Hey, what's not to admire when your commodity of choice is delicious, valuable, tough to find, and, in the hands of amateurs, may cause profuse vomiting? Mushroom foraging, like all foraging, is by no means new. An elite and secretive society has existed …

Forgive me, Earth, for I have sinned. You see, a dear childhood friend of my boyfriend's got married last Saturday. Our attendance was a foregone conclusion -- there was no way Ted could miss his bro's big day. Problem was, we live in Seattle, and this wedding was in Marfa, Texas, a tiny town a full eight hours' drive from Austin. We had to travel -- a lot -- to reach this blessed event. With travel come carbon emissions, and with carbon emissions comes guilt. If it helps, I feel really bad about it. Perhaps the most hardcore greenies out …

I have a mystical sort of reverence for people who make their own jam. Like those who turn old pillowcases into cute outfits for their kids or whittle their own four-poster beds out of driftwood, their skills inspire both admiration and envy. What are my meager domestic accomplishments next to such down-home expertise? Jam seems advanced. Lately, my inferiority complex has gotten worse. Jam-making used to live in the realm of Quaint Things Your Grandma Did, along with sewing buttons or knowing how to use a hat pin. Now it's suddenly hip. So in my newfound Greenie Pig spirit, I …

Garbage smoothie. Feeding a bin full of worms is delicate business. There's portion size to consider, and how often to feed. You must bury the scraps just so in order to elude marauding flies. Soil acidity, oxygen levels, and moisture content must be carefully balanced. Or, you could just throw a bunch of crap in there and see how it goes. I've gone with option B, and hey, it's been a grand success so far. A few weeks into my tenure as Worm Mistress, the redworms are eating heartily and slithering enthusiastically whenever I peek into the bin. Turns out …

Greenie Pig opens a Can O' Worms.Elisabeth Kwak-Hefferan has turned her apartment and daily existence into a not-especially grand experiment in green living. And she wants you to come along. Read the whole Greenie Pig series here. First off: I think composting is the bee's knees. What's not to love about transforming organic waste into garden steroids, and diverting trash from the landfill stream to boot? So in theory, I'm way into composting. But in reality, well, I've been lazy at best. I'm full of excuses: I don't have a garden, or time/space for a bin, or the mechanical skills …

Greenie Pig is worm composting. Tune in next week for an update.Psst. Hey you. I know a little something about you. Let me guess: You own a bike -- or a public transit pass, or a pair of boots made for walkin' -- and you use it.   You think seeing a recyclable plastic bottle tossed in the trash is akin to witnessing the clubbing of a baby seal.     You consider Organic, Seasonal, and Local the holy trinity of foodstuffs.     You slurp your French roast from a reusable mug, you turn off your CFLs when you're …